Employee refuses to refer sister for a job, sister puts employee's name on her application anyway, only for HR to reject her for lying: ‘I blacklisted her’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 1, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

Referring someone you know for a job at your workplace is great… until it's someone you don't actually want to refer.

It makes sense that many workplaces would rely on their current employees when they search for new hires. If a company is hiring people they trust and have seen success from, that will develop into trust in other departments, including in hiring other people.

This leads many companies to encourage employees to refer people they know for any job opportunity that opens up. If the company needs new accountants, before they post the job on LinkedIn, they might send current employees the job information first and ask if they know anyone who might fit the description. On the other side, if you find a job listing that interests you, the first thing you should do is see if you know anyone who already works for that company, since applying through them might increase your chances of getting the job.

The only downside to this deal is when someone you know asks you to refer them to a job in your company, but you don't think they are a good fit. If you don't want to work with the person, or if you are not sure of their work ethic, putting your name in their application might not be that great for you. It can paint you in a bad light in your workplace, and it can lead to you being stuck working with someone you're not a fan of.

That is why, when the employee below was asked to refer her sister for a job in her company, she refused. The employee knew, from past experience, that her sister could not be trusted in a workplace, and she didn't want to be held accountable for her in any shape or form. However, the sister ignored the refusal and put the employee's name in the application anyway. So when HR called the employee to confirm the referral, the employee had to decide whether to cover for her sister or tell HR the truth and ruin her sister's chances of getting the job…

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  • Woman in a professional interview.
    via Walls.io

    Woman in a professional interview.

    Models pictured are not representative.

  • AITA for telling HR I never referred my sister after she put my name on her application?

    I (29F) have been at my company four years. We have a referral scheme, and I have used it twice, both times for people who worked out, which is part of why I get taken seriously when I recommend someone.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • My sister (26F) asked me in July to refer her for a coordinator opening on a different floor. I said no. I did not say it nastily, I said I would sit with her on her CV, do a
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • practice interview, tell her exactly what the panel asks, all of it, but I was not putting my name on her.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • The reason is that I did this once already. Four years ago I got her a job at the clinic where I was working. She was late constantly, then stopped
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • showing up in week six without telling anyone, and I was the one covering her desk and apologising to my manager for a month. She has never really acknowledged that happened.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • She said I was being dramatic about something from four years ago. Our mum said family helps family and that I have "gone corporate". I stuck with no.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • Job application rejected
    via BrianAJackson

    Job application rejected.

    Stock photo unrelated.

  • She applied anyway. On the form there is a field asking whether an employee referred you, and she put my full name
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • and my employee number in it, which she has because she has seen my payslip.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • HR emailed me on Monday, friendly, just confirming the referral so they could log it. I sat on it for about an hour and
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • then I replied and said no, I had not referred her, and that she had applied on her own. I did not tell them the clinic story. I just answered the question.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • She found out on Thursday when they told her the referral could not be verified, and she called me screaming that I had blacklisted her and that she
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • was the only candidate they would now assume is a liar. My mum says I could have just said yes, that it costs me nothing, and that I have now
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • made sure my own sister does not get a job she needs, and she does need it, she has a four year old and her hours got cut in March.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • I keep landing in the same place. I could have said yes and it would have been over in one email. But it would have been a lie in writing to my own
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • employer, with my employee. number attached to it, for someone who has already done this to me once.
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • She has not spoken to me since Thursday and my mum has stopped answering my calls. AITA?
    via UnfairHealth4868
  • kamikasei > she was the only candidate they would now assume is a liar She is a liar. You are never required to cover for other people's lies about you. NTA.
    via kamikasei
  • FeistyChickadee NTA it's your reputation. And she added you without asking! How is your mom even siding with her?
    via FeistyChickadee
  • tefster NTA. There's no way you should risk your reputation and standing with your employer, particularly when you've had blowback from her behaviour previously. And you didn't blacklist her, lying on an application blacklisted her.
    via tefster
  • SaneForCocoa Puffs She has not spoken to me since Thursday and my mum has stopped answering my calls Problem solved itself. NTA
    via SaneForCocoaPuffs

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employee hr job sisters work job candidate workplace family sister reference job application
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